So I feel I must explain the changes in my life for the past year, because this lifetime was totally the most nonproductive episode since I started making photos.

Last winter, after exam session at university, it all started with missing lessons, loosing interest in meeting friends and total misantrophism. Soon it progressed to apathy, passive selfdestruction and oversleeping every day. This initiated my credits at university after spring session and my self gnawling plus parents nerves. I planned to spend summer at my parents residence, but I realised this would be impossible to spent whole summer with them, so I came back to Vilnius and closed to my flat. Yeah, closed, literally bariccaded from the whole world, slept all days, watched TV, glanced at PC with emptiness in the eyes an no ideas in the head, just like rotting inside. Actually the days came it was too hard for me to go to shop and buy some food, sometimes too hard even sitting and watching Tv to go to toilet and pee. When I came to university in september, some panic attacks crashed my head and finally I realised I don't want to live anymore. Yeah, suicide. Thinking about suicide and no desire to live anymore. I felt like a rubber doll with apoplexed head with no emotions, no interests, no even anger nor apetite or thoughts, nothing. So one day parents realised I'm not going to pass the credits and continue studies so they organised a serious conversation. In that conversation I lost out and told my mom I don't want to live anymore. The next day they called a psychiatrist psichoterapeut and booked a session for me. I was said that I must go or they will use force. So it's almost 2 months I'm visiting my psychiatrist and my diagnosis is Clinical Depression, not in the easiest decade. It's a week I'm using SSRI antidepressants and still waiting for better times and brighter thoughts. Wish me good luck.

P.S. I wanted just to say that depression is not the thing that could inspire, it's nothing like autumn melancholy or agressive destruction madness. For me it's not like living, it's like vegetable excistence with no inspiration with any thoughts, not good or bad or even agressive, totally nothing.